It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
