I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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