im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
