so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
