They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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