just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We are two peas in an std pod
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
