i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
