i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
