do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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