i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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