I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
