Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
