YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
