We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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