they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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