The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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