im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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