i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
