just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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