i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
