is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
