DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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