My Higher Power is John Stamos
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
