Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
