i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
