In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
