I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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