My nipple is on Facebook.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Floor bacon is actually really good
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
