Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
