i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
