Porn is love you can see.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
