Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize