I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
