im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
