I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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