i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
