if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
