Sponge bath it is.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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