this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
do nipples grow back?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
