Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
