She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
