omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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