So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
