all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
