My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
