I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
