To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
A+ Viking dick
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
