I accidentally burped into my bong.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
