let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
