if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
