Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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