shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
