you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
two words...techno handjob
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
