I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
