omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
