Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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