so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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