Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
