we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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