i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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