im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
