this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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