Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize