i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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