her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize