I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
