id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
