And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
