Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i believe in u and ur pee
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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