Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
